OK I finally got round to this. School just takes my writing ability out of me (ironic, I know).
We set off to East Midlands airport at about 4am. 4AM! That meant we had to get up at 3am. It was quite bad. And then I didn't manage to go to sleep during the 2 hour car ride to the airport. At this point I would have expected the airport to be courteous towards me for having to get up at 3am. But no it was the most boring airport ever. We hung about watching BBC news 24 on big screens until they called us to the plane. However I did have a new mp3 player (and a book), so I wasn't bored, but ordinarily I would have wandered about the airport, but I lacked a motive, and also I had next to no energy for obvious reasons. The flight too went without andthing interesting occuring. I mean, we could have, like, nearly died or something. I was stuck in a dirty seat looking at the safety instructions that had been smeared with jam. Well, that's what you get for flights that cost about £4. Well, something like that. But when we finished the flight it was quite funny. There wasn't an arrivals building. There was an arrivals tent. We were in Bergerac and were greeted by 4 painted steel walls topped by a tent roof. And a set of rollers which our baggage hurtled down and landed with a crash at the bottom. Or sometimes they just got stuck at the top. But at least it didn't take long, we hit the road in 20 minutes. In this car.
The gite we got to was quite cool. It was BIG. I mean bigger than our house, even if it was only one floor. It took 17 seconds to walk from one side of the house to the other... so yeah. There you have it. The latter is where I slept; I made short work of it. There were 2 dogs there, one turned out a bit camera shy… but the other was a big poodle. It tried to bite me once because it had proved quite bad at catching Frisbees, instead it was startled and ran off. I went round the corner, and it tried to bite me! It wasn’t very good at that, either.
So then we set off on the typical (at least in my holidays…) car drive about the village. On the way back it was around dinnertime, and it was Sunday. Apparently, absolutely nobody in France is alive on a Sunday. Until we went to this one place. It was a cafeteria. It was a strange little place. Reminded me of the cafes in Ikea – the service was the same. However the food wasn’t Swedish meatballs… it was even more obscure. It was kind of played up like a fast-food place. Except with different-ish food. There were chips… but no conventional meat to go with them. I thought they had chicken, but alas, it was not a chicken that wielded this meat, it was a duck. They also had veal, and something I was unable to identify either from the blackboard with the names or by the look of it. So I ended up with just chips. It wasn’t the greatest meal ever. But then, as I was eating, my eyes wandered to the huge TV at one side (kind of flanked by aquariums and games consoles for some reason). Chuck Norris was on TV! This was the first time I’d seen Chuck Norris outside the internet. It was quite awesome. The first thing I saw him do was strangle a rattlesnake in front of some scouts. Later in the programme I even was lucky enough to see him roundhouse-kick some punk, and leap from a helicopter onto a plane about to take off. Good old Chuck. We all came back tired. I was the only one awake, reading Sourcery and listening to my mp3 player. Then when my sister got up I so totally pwned her at Monopoly. It was cool because the last blow was when she landed on the Hotel de Mayfair. My picture of the moment was deleted… but it was like this. I was pretty good at Monopoly during that holiday. To finish the day, I went to bed trying to ignore/kill the bugs all over the place… LOOK AT IT IT CAN’T EVEN SPELL OMG! And there were lizards, but as far as I know none of them got in the house.
Next morning, I wasn’t too surprised when I was woken up at about 10am. I should have slept on the plane or something, but what are you gonna do. Not a lot happened really, we drove to some towns. Interesting thing is the trees and crops in this region. I’ll start with the trees I guess.
They were big and stumpy. By stumpy… I mean… imagine an oak tree with no branches.or twigs or leaves. It had boughs, but there are only about a dozen boughs on each tree, and they look like the trunk but a bit thinner. Now imagine that the trees are painted white. Did it look like this?
And the crops. France is a wine-growing land, everyone knows that. You probably have mental images of great rows of lush green vines, with little purple gems nested among them. Well… actually they don’t quite look like that during April. Maybe around June to early July they will look like that. However on holiday there were entire armies of little stumps about a foot high in immaculate rows, like “special” soldiers. It looked really stupid. You wouldn’t believe how much land had been devoted to these plants; neither of my pictures manage to convey this. They have tried.
Tuesday, and we decided to visit a big dune. It was the biggest dune in Europe, and it was quite amazing. How the sand had all managed to get up there was a bit clever. It was very windy and the sand began to attempt to bite into your skin. On the other side it wasn’t too bad. Just a hell of a lot of sand still! There were some mental people there. Foreigners! There were some French boys who were chucking themselves down it. I would have done that if the sand hadn’t already gone in my eyes, clothes, and really anywhere else you could think of…
Anyway, that night there was a pretty awesome storm. It’s quite lucky that I got this picture because lightning is, you know, fast, so this picture was dictated by luck more than anything else. Also the exposure was longer in the dark. Anyway, this raged on somewhat. It wasn’t raining too hard but the lightning seemed to be coming from all different directions. During the time we spent in the car coming back from a restaurant, I took these three pictures. Arty! Now where can I use them? Anyway, it lead to a powercut in the end, which happened while I was administering some more Monopolownage. So we had had enough by then, and went to bed (shortly after the several minutes I spent emptying sand out of my shoes into the vague direction of the bin).
The next day was a day in which the pictures seem to do the talking. We went here where we were greeted by someone who didn’t really look like a troglodyte, but he was barbaric enough to balance horizontally on his index finger. I have no clue why we went to this place. It was just a bit of a carving out of a cliff, really. Apparently these ‘troglodytes’ lived here and… fought battles, I guess. They probably wouldn’t have allowed this rickety staircase in England. I didn’t give a damn. When we got up there were lots of rocks all over the place. It just made me laugh. It was like “and here is a cave! There are rocks in here. Here is our prize artefact, a HOLLOW ROCK! Do not touch” And here you can see the warriors’ footsteps. Educational! And that night we didn’t have a proper tea because my sister is vegetarian, and French people wonder what a vegetarian is. We went, and asked if anything was meat-free. After explaining that fish, chicken, beef, and pork (in that order) did in fact constitute meat, we went home, since that place was the only one open in miles. But we did have stuff in the fridge.
On the last proper day we went to a market. This isn’t Barnsley market, it’s a French market. Although it did have a Paella stall, and an English book stall. It was a good stall! I got my Discworld Companion, so I was happy. Most of it was weird plant stalls, African traders’ stalls (Get your elephants here! A choice of straw or some igneous rock type!), fresh food stalls, and a clothes shop in the square which had dragged half of its stock outside. When we had done, we wandered around the place, and I met some geese. Sideways! Later we visited a chateau, and went around there. I wasn’t interested since it was all about wine, but the pictures are nice. And we saw a rabbit!
I had time for one last camera spree while I was supposed to be packing. Here you go!
And some stuff I left off:
And voila! I hope you enjoyed that, thanks for reading it all and having a look at my very amateurish work with a camera.